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Tuesday, December 9, 2014

A Letter to the Bullied

You’re always going to have haters. People who tell you, you are wrong for thinking, believing, or even looking as you choose to. They will always exist so you must learn to accept them and move on. Don’t take my forwardness as ignorance of reality, for I know what’s real. What’s real is the pain their words and actions make you feel at night as you replay them for the hundredth time like a broken jukebox repeating your least favorite song.

Your pain is valid. Their words are cruel and unfair. However, staying in a state of pain by focusing on it will get you nowhere. They will think they have won and continue their vicious cycle of making you feel worthless, incapable, and insufficient. Listen to me right now, and repeat these words every moment of every day: You are worthy, you are capable, and you are sufficient.

 I wish haters didn’t exist, I wish we all accepted one another just as we are and focused on the more important matters. But, this just isn’t reality so there is no point in wishing away our lives. Instead try and make something good out of their cruelty. Refocus your energy and use their gifts in a positive way. Tell them thank you.

Thank you for reminding me why I need to be nice to people, why I should help others even when I don’t feel like it, and why I should think twice before I speak or act. If it weren’t for their daily torments you wouldn’t know what it feels like to be judged or stereotyped and why it’s important not to do so in reverse. Above all, you wouldn’t know how to recognize others being bullied and you wouldn’t feel a desire to stop it. There’s a reason for your pain, use it to make the world better.

Again, haters will always exist. They are there when you are young and don’t understand what you have done wrong. They are there as you get older and realize it’s nothing you’ve done. Haters morph from being just another schoolmate to being your co-workers, your boss’s, and even your best friends. Therefore you must live your life exactly as you believe is right for you and under no circumstances change that for anyone except yourself.

So everyone has the new Michael Kors purse and your getting made fun of for just having a hand-me-down clutch? You rock that clutch like it’s what’s up and coming and they are a part of yesterday’s trend! So you got straight A’s and everyone is calling you a teacher’s pet, boring, or nerd? Remember that education is the path to success and the key to a positive future. If nothing else, remember that doing well in a school means you’re more likely to be their boss in the future and then oh, how the tables will turn. So you’ve stood up for your beliefs that women deserve equal rights and now your being called a Femi Nazi and getting uninvited to social engagements? Even for the greatest of leaders opening people’s minds has never been an easy task that doesn’t mean your opinion is wrong, you’re just a leader for those who are too scared yet to speak. Don’t let one non-invite disturb your focus on helping achieve a positive joyful change for an entire world.

See it is not haters you must be worried about, but your own self. If you let them be your focus you will forget who you believe yourself to be and will become who they say you are. They will try and make you in to nothing, but you are here for a reason. You have two eyes, two ears, two legs, two arms, and one brain to think about what you see, what you hear, where you go, and what/whom you hold. You alone make the choices. Think them through thoroughly, than make them fully and completely. Own them. Let not a sole damper your choices for only then can you say you have won.

You won. No matter what they say, and no matter how they have made you feel, you have completely stood up for yourself by making your own life choices and thus being exactly who you are.** You have projected yourself out in to the universe as a new light, a unique light, a light that no matter how are they have tried they have been unsuccessful in darkening. Congratulations, and keep shining through the darkness.

**There will come a time when you may not be happy with your choices. Only you have the power to change them. Sometimes you will not feel capable of it and at this time the bully will reside in your own head. Repeat to them just as you repeated to the haters in world, you make the choices for your life. You choose.