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Friday, June 13, 2014

To Grow Up, or to Not Grow Up? THAT is the question.

This week I was given a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a part of a new summer series with NBC's TODAY Show. This has been an up in the air prospect for the last couple of months which I've fantasizing. Whenever someone would ask me about my post-graduation plans I would mention it, but did so almost jokingly because the reality of me being on the TODAY Show was as close to pigs flying as anything. Well, I guess pigs can fly because here I am, little 23 year old me, going to be on the TODAY Show! The crazy thing is, despite how much I was hoping this would happen, the moment I got the news I also got the ice cold feeling of not wanting to go.

It's funny to me how we can dream big dreams, but as soon as they have the possibility of becoming reality, becoming melancholy over all we'll be leaving behind.

Currently I'm an unemployed 23 year old living at my parents house in the middle of a corn field. This isn't the "ideal" situation. And by no means can it become a permanent one either, but I don't want to move. I like living in the country. I like having roommates (my parents) who I can laugh with, share meals with, and who actually talk to me! I like being able to sleep in until 10 AM all day and play on the internet the rest of it. I like being at home. But I have to wake up...I have to grow up.

Growing up means leaving everything you know and are comfortable with behind. Growing up means living one day at a time and trying the best you can. It means walking ahead, even when your legs are shaking and you are pretty sure you are going to pass out. It means making new friends, seeing new places, and taking on a much bigger world than the one you imagined. And most of the time doing it alone.

You will always have your support system to whom you can call. You will always have your friends, despite how far away, who are proud of you and are rooting you on. But they are far away. Unlike college, most people you meet from here on out won't be your age, won't be into all the same things you are, and will be focusing more on getting themselves to the next step in their career, not you. Here is where you finally have to gather up all those lessons your teachers and parents taught you over the years about being special, feeling confident, and ignoring the doubters, and fully embrace them. You have to go into the world knowing who you are and what you want, and not worrying about what anyone else thinks. This is your time. But this is also a million other people's time. So you have to stand tall, despite how much your knees are shaking, and you would rather go back to bed, and live the life you were meant to.

I'm right there with you, scared to death. But we CAN do this.

What are you most scared about post-graduation?



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